When I close my eyes

When I close my eyes...I'm with you!Unfortunately,it's the only way I can be with you!...Maybe I'll close my eyes forever,to be forever with you!...Yes,I'm blue,sad,angry...What's the sense of my life?What's the way I'm going on?I feel weak,powerless,hopeless...I feel I'm down and I failed in that fucking life!That's why I don't agree this life,but I'm too weak and too coward to do something like suicide...I just quited from life,just like Octave de Saville,the poor man in love from Theophile Gautier's "Avatar",and now I'm waiting that my resignation to be approved!...